Chronic fatigue is stopping me.
From doing what I want, what I would otherwise do.
Is it true?
Yes. I can find where it feels true.
Can I know it is true?
No. It’s just a thought.
What happens when I believe that thought?
I tell myself that cf is stopping me. It is hindering me from living my life as I used to and as I want. I feel it.
I use cf as a reason for not doing as much as before, for saying “no” to invitations, for holding back on what I do and what I spend energy on.
I use cf as a reason to be less social, for resting more.
I sometimes use cf as a reason for not doing something, even if there are (also) other reasons.
What am I not able to do with that belief?
I am not able to live a more active and engaged life. I am less inclined to give it a try and see what happens.
When did I first have that thought?
In my late teens when I first had a strong phase of it, although I didn’t have a label for it then.
How do I relate to others?
I am sometimes more passive, holding back. I sometimes say “no” when I am invited to do something.
How do I relate to myself and life?
There is less trust. More fear and hesitation. I hold back.
Who would I be without it?
More open, curious about what I can do. More interested in giving it a go, see what happens. More open about what’s possible. Don’t see anything as impossible unless I have tried.
More trust and faith in myself and life.
CF is not stopping me.
That’s true. My thinking is more often what’s stopping me.
Also, cf is a broad label. If anything is stopping me apart from my thinking, it is more accurately a feeling of being drained of energy. There is something appearing in the sense fields, a label of “drained of energy” and yet another more broad and general label of cf. CF is a second or third level generalization at best.
I still do many things. I (most often) get up in the morning. Make my own food. Eat. Go for walks. Get things done. Am sometimes social. Sometimes write here. Travel.
I am looking forward to cf stopping me.
Yes. I am looking forward to recognizing that thought and belief again. It gives me another opportunity to explore that belief and find what’s more true for me.
My thinking is stopping the cf.
When I believe my images of the cf, my mind is creating an image of it and making it appear real, solid and unchanging. There is a lack of receptivity and curiosity around it. Lack of receptivity to how it appears, changes, flows.