I woke up this morning with a sense of heavy dullness and unease. It’s easy to not want this experience. My impulse is to resist the experience, to change it, to get up and shake it off.
Instead, I stay in bed for about an hour more, allowing and welcoming this experience. Shifting into being it, noticing I am it already.
When I resisted the experience, it seemed an “other”, a problem, something I wanted to change and go away.
As soon as I allow it and find myself as the experience, it is quite different.
The content has the same qualities of heaviness and unease, but now it is what I am. It gives a sense of fullness, richness. It is nourishing.
I notice how often I resist these types of experiences, the ones my thoughts say are not good, not right, not beneficial.
And yet, when I shift into allowing and being them – the field of experience – a whole new landscape opens for me. The content of experience may be much the same, the qualities may still be there, but it is still quite different. From being a problem it is the fullness of what I am. There is a gentle sweetness here. Rightness. Nothing is missing.
Note: There is a question behind this: What happens when I resist experience? What happens when I allow the experience – emotions, discomfort, even the impulse to resist? What happens when I shift into being, notice I already am it?
And what is resistance? I find that resistance is not much at all. It doesn’t have any substance, but it does have consequences.
Resistance is a belief: I need to resist this experience. Something terrible will happen if I allow this experience. I can’t take it.
It is a shift in attention away from just allowing it as is, and to beliefs about the experience or other distractions.
It fuels reactive emotions – fear, frustration, anger or whatever else comes up when an experience is here that I tell myself should not be here.
And it creates discomfort, a sense of separation, and of the experience that is resisted as “other” and a problem.
As I find more intimacy with resistance, find more familiarity with the dynamics around it and how it is created, it can even become a friend. I befriend resistance and it does not appear as a much as a problem anymore. I don’t have to resist resistance. Resistance can also be allowed and welcomed, as any other content of experience.