This is very basic, but a good reminder.
When I have a belief that creates discomfort for me, I can rehearse it, try to avoid it, or see through it.
Some forms of talk therapy – depending on the tools used, the therapist, and my own insights and inclinations – may rehearse the stories. The same may conversations with friends, if they believe and support my stories. And my own self-talk may rehearse the belief, if I don’t question it. The effect is to make the story seem as or more true, tighten the knot, fuel reactive emotions, and deepen the wound – self-inflicted in the first place.
I may try to avoid the story. I don’t talk about it. Try to not think about it. Try to avoid situations that reminds me of it. This may work for a while, and up to a point, but the stress and tension is still there, and my belief and what comes with it – stress, discomfort, reactive emotions, woundedness – may erupt at any moment. And I know that, which creates an additional undercurrent of stress.
I may seek to see through my belief, finding what’s more true for me. And, again, I can do this through some forms of therapy if the invitation is there and I am receptive. I can do this through conversations with friends, if they won’t accept my story, invite me to find what’s more true for me, and I am receptive. And I can do this through self-talk, if I question my stories and seek what’s more true.
Very simple. And a good reminder.
Inspiration: A conversation with a friend yesterday. She mentioned that talk therapy may open and deepen wounds. And I wanted to nuance it: it all depends on the tools, therapist, client and situation.
- rehearsing stories vs. seeing through them
- rehearsing stories
- some forms of talk therapy may rehearse stories – depending on the tools uses, the therapist, and the client
- some conversations with friends may do the same, if they agree
- some self-talk may do it, if we agree and don’t question it
- the effect is making the stories seem as or more true, tighten the knot, fuel reactive emotions, and deepen the (self-inflicted) wound
- seeing through them
- again, some therapy, some conversations, some self-talk can help us see through the stories, untie the knot, heal the wounds – if we don’t believe the stories and genuinely seek what’s more true
- rehearsing stories