What do I think will make me happy?

 

What do I think will make me happy?

A good relationship. A nice house. A rewarding job. Respect. Money. Security. A life of service.

Inner peace. Sense of wholeness. Healing. Maturing. Awakening.

What does my actions tell me I think will make me happy? What do I invest my time in? What do I daydream about?

Hm. I see that I think avoidance will make me happy. I sometimes resist experience. Avoid thinking about something uncomfortable. Avoid doing something it is uncomfortable to think about. Avoid saying or doing things.

I also see that I think spending time on the internet and watching movies will make me happy.

If I get it, will it really make me happy?

A good relationship: No, not enough in itself. It is, at most, one piece of the puzzle. The same with a nice house. A rewarding job. Respect. Money. Security. A life of service. I can think of many ways to be unhappy even with all of that, or at least feeling that something is missing. Something is off. Not quite satisfying.

Inner peace: Yes. Although that too is just one piece of it. In itself, it’s not quite enough. It is still not quite satisfying. Sense of wholeness: Hm. That’s closer. That’s more fulfilling. It has more of a sense of rightness to it. Healing: Yes, again, it’s one piece of the puzzle, and an important one. Maturing: Yes, that too. Awakening: Again, that’s closer. I am somewhat familiar with head and heart awakening, and yet even there, there was a sense of something missing. It was partly because something was “missing”, it didn’t stay. And partly because the belly awakening wasn’t there. With all three, and a deepening in each, it may be different.

Will it last?

Hm. Nothing lasts. Relationships end. Security may go away. Sense of wholeness may go away. This life ends. The only exception here may be awakening, simply because time then happens within what is – what I am. From the perspective of time, awakening may come and go too. And from within awakening, time and shifts between awakening and confusion happens within what is – what I am.

What do I really want?

Deep sense of satisfaction. Sense of deep rightness.

What’s most likely to get me that?

Hm. Truth. Receptivity to the truth. Living the truth. When I am at odds with truth, there is always a sense that something is off. There is discomfort. Lack of alignment. I believe stories. I talk or scare myself into not following my inner guidance. When I am receptive to the truth, when I live the truth, things fall into place. There is a sense of rightness.

Note: This truth is not truth as told by stories. It is genuine receptivity to the limited validity in any story, receptivity to practical insights, knowledge and skills. Receptivity to the reality that I don’t really know. Receptivity to inner guidance. Receptivity to living truth. Receptivity to feedback from myself, others, life.

Source: The main questions are from the introduction of Born to Be Free by Jac O’Keeffe.

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