Inquiries: drama is rich and juicy, we always get what we want etc.

 

Some inquiries from Adya:

We always get what we want.

Is it true the drama is juicy and rich?

What’s the innocent impulse behind a belief?

We always get what we want

(a) Hm. I have experienced my share of drama in life.

In what way do I want drama?

What are some of my beliefs that makes me want drama?

Drama is rich and juicy.

I need drama in my life.

I need drama to live a full life.

I need drama to intimately know human life.

–> I didn’t realize I was that addicted to drama. It’s sobering to see.

(b) I have had health problems.

Can I find where I wanted the experience of chronic fatigue?

It gave me time and space to process.

It brought beliefs to the surface so I got a chance to inquire into them.

I gave me a chance to hit rock bottom, and I have been drawn to that.

It gave me an opportunity to reorient.

It has helped me embrace more of my humanity.

It has helped me be more ordinary.

I have explored healing more than I would have otherwise.

I know how it is to not be able to function as I would like.

I have found empathy based on own experience.

I have learned to ask people for help.

And all of those were things I wanted before this happened.

{ }

Is it true the drama is juicy and rich?

Hm. It feels true. I sometimes tell myself it’s true.

The drama comes from taking stories as true, just as when I take a dream as true as it happens.

In a dream, the drama is experienced as full and rich.

Important. Juicy.

When I wake up from a dream, I see the dream was created from images, and the drama from taking those images as real and true.

The drama was created from telling myself something was real that wasn’t.

–> So the sense of juiciness and richness has the same source.

It comes from taking stories as true.

I take stories about what’s happening as true, I take the drama as true, I take the stories of juiciness and importance as true.

–> First, I create drama for myself through beliefs, then I add another belief saying drama is rich and juicy.

It is all created from taking stories as true.

It is all created from temporary confusion.

{}

Is it true that delusion is juicy and rich?

Hm. Juicy and rich is a belief. Another story created from within delusion.

Taking a story as true creates something juicy and rich.

Is it true? I don’t know.

When I have that belief, I am fascinate by beliefs. I see them as something positive. I want to create and live within beliefs.

I am resistant to inquire into them, at least to the point where they have no hold anymore.

Who would I be without it? Hm. Not drawn to beliefs in the same way. More neutral view.

Taking a story as true creates something juicy and rich –> Taking a story as true does not create something juicy and rich.

Hm. Juicy and rich is another belief, a belief added to beliefs.

It is not inherently any more (or less) juicy or rich than anything else.

–> Clarity is in many ways more rich. It allows for exploring more views. It invites following inner guidance.

Taking a story as true creates something juicy and rich –> Taking a story as true creates something dry and poor.

Yes. I can see that.

Thoughts get confined within the belief. They are in service of the belief, trying to make it appear true.

My inner guidance/knowing may be at odds with the belief, which may prevent me from acting on it.

–> I make myself smaller than I am, both as a human being and as what I am.

I make myself and the world smaller than what we are.

– o –

There is something positive in delusion.

Is it true? Not sure. It’s just a story.

When I believe that thought, I am attracted to delusion. I want to experience it.

I create beliefs so I can experience delusion.

When I inquiry into beliefs, I hold back so some remains.

Who would I be without it? More neutral about beliefs. Willing to see through beliefs so they don’t have any footing.

There is something positive in delusion –> There is nothing positive in delusion.

Hm. That could be true.

The only positive I can find is that it’s the play of existence, but anything is that – including clarity.

And whatever positive is there in stories, is there in beliefs or clarity.

–> There is nothing *uniquely* positive in beliefs.

There is something positive in delusion –> There is something negative in delusion.

Yes, that’s definitely true. It’s how suffering and unease is created.

The function of beliefs is to create suffering.

{ }

What’s the innocent impulse behind a belief?

I want to be right –> I want to know what’s true.

I am someone –> I want to know who or what I am.

This story is true –> I want a sense of security.

This story is true –> I want to know what’s true.

I have arrived –> I want to know I am OK.

I want drama and juiciness –> I want fullness, aliveness –> I want awakeness, absence of division.

Behind the beliefs I have looked at so far, I find an innocent impulse.

It’s an impulse that makes sense as who I am, as a human being in the world.

And it’s an impulse that makes sense from what I am.

–> It’s an impulse for what I am to notice itself.

{ }

What’s behind a belief?

A wish to know what’s true.

A wish to be safe.

A wish to locate and orient myself.

A wish to know I am OK.

An underlying belief that uncertainty is bad –> creates fear –> fuels the impulse to take a story/any story as true.

The expression – taking a story as true – may be misguided, but the impulse is innocent.

{ }

Why do I do inquiry?

It’s fun. Exiting. An adventure.

I want to find truth. I want release from confusion.

Truth wants to meet itself consciously.


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