The Heart Shrine Relic Tour was in Oslo this weekend, and I was fortunate enough to spend my morning there yesterday.
It’s also a good reminder to sort.
Are these really relics that appear in the ashes of advanced practitioners? Are they unique to these people?
Those are questions for science. If I did this type of research, it would be very interesting questions. Since I don’t – for now – I don’t pay much attention to it.
What is my experience?
I certainly experienced something. I hadn’t slept well the night before and was in a slightly grumpy mood, and this changed after having been there a few minutes.
My heart opened. I found receptivity. I found a wish for truth to recognize itself through me.
I went back to the relics again with this more receptive attitude.
I experienced a strong earthy energy, familiar from other Tibetan Buddhist settings, and similar to what I experienced in the main temple Bodh Gaya some years back. There seemed to be a strong shaktipat, energy transmission, with an uniquely Tibetan Buddhist flavor – earthy, solid, intense.
Later in the day, unreleased/unresolved stuff in me not aligned with reality surfaced – as it so often does these days – wanting to be seen, felt, and appreciated. It seems that whatever was not seen, felt and appreciated at the time, when it initially happened, surfaces so it can be released and resolved. For parts of the day, I got caught up in it, and it resolved or faded more towards the evening.
What do I find when I explore this further?
Is it true what I find in these relics is not here already?
Hm. Open heart. Receptivity. Energy. Intention for reality to recognize itself. I find each of those here.
Is it OK if it’s small?
Yes. The quality is more important than volume. It’s OK if it’s small.
How do I stop myself from noticing it’s already here?
By telling myself it comes from the relics. I am depending on the relics to experience it, find it in myself.
By telling myself finding it here now is not the same. What I find is smaller, and that’s not OK.
Is it true?
It comes from the relics –> It doesn’t come from the relics.
That’s true. It all happens within my own field of experience. It all happens as what I am.
I am dependent on the relics to find it in myself –> I am not dependent on the relics to find it in myself.
Yes, obviously. I find it here now. I find the same qualities here now.
Finding it here is not the same –> Finding it here is the same.
Yes, I can find the same qualities here, and that’s more important to me.
Also, even when the relics are “out there” according to my story, it’s all here. It’s all happening in my field of experience, it’s all happening as what I am.
When uncomfortable experiences and stories surface, what happens?
I sometimes resist the experience, and it gets very uncomfortable. I sometimes take the stories as true, elaborate on them, and make myself a victim.
Other times, I allow and welcome the experience, and find it – the field of experience – is what I already am. There is a shift here.
And I write down the thoughts, take them to inquiry, and find what’s more true for me.
What’s behind resistance and going into stories as true?
I resist the experience because I have beliefs about it. I believe the experience is too much, something terrible will happen if I don’t resist it.
I believe that not fueling the story means something terrible will happen. I believe the story is unquestionably true, so there is no reason inquiring into it.
- buddhist relics
- what do i see in them, what do i experience from them/in their presence
- is it true it’s not here now?
- visualization – visualize as having all the qualities of the buddha mind, soak in it, then visualize it dissolving into me and myself dissolving into space
- turnaround, find specific examples
- see it all happens within/as my field of experience
- how do i stop myself from noticing it here now? do i tell myself i need it out there to find it here? is it true?
- what do i hope to get out of it? what do i actually get out of it if i tell myself i need it out there? can i find it here? is it true it’s not already here?
- is it ok if it seems small when i find it here?
– see out there, get familiar with, experience their qualities
– then notice it’s already right here, and never was anywhere else
– only a story says its out there, and that i require something out there to find it, notice it, notice i am it already