I need to escape my experience.
I need to escape certain experiences.
I need to avoid discomfort/suffering.
I need to escape what I am experiencing.
Hm. It certainly feels that way, sometimes.
No. It’s just a thought, a feeling.
What happens when I take it to be true?
I feel I need to escape my experience.
I try to escape my experience.
I use different strategies for escaping experience.
(a) I try to avoid whatever is unpleasant. I try to avoid situations triggering it.
(b) I try to distract myself from it. I bring attention to something else.
I talk to friends, do something, read, watch a movie, go for a walk, listen to a podcast etc.
Any activity can serve as a distraction.
(c) I try to change the experience.
I do inquiry, pray, meditate etc. – all to try to change the experience, to change the state.
What do I hope to get out of it?
Comfort. A sense of safety.
What do I actually get out of it?
Temporary escape at best.
–> Continued discomfort – from trying to escape, from knowing I can’t really escape.
–> The process of trying to escape is in itself uncomfortable.
I tell myself something is wrong. Something needs to change for me to be OK.
And that’s inherently uncomfortable.
It comes from a belief, and from trying to escape meeting the belief and the fear it creates.
What would be a better strategy?
Hm. To meet and befriend what is.
Meet it with receptivity, curiosity.
When I do this, I find what I a looking for.
I find a release. A sense of coming home.
Release from needing to escape what’s here.
Who would I be without the belief – I need to escape experience?
–> Not escaping what’s here.
I don’t need to escape experience.
Hm. No, it’s here.
Life doesn’t think I need to escape it.
When I have met experienced in the past, it’s been OK.
When I ask myself if the experience is OK, I have found it is.
I need to meet experience.
Yes. When I do that right now, it feels good. It feels right.
There is a sense of coming home. A relief from being caught up in trying to escape it.
My thinking needs to avoid experience.
Yes, that’s where the need to escape experience is located.
I believe I need to escape experience, so think, feel and act as if it’s true.
I get caught up in that belief. I get caught up in the worldview of that belief.
– o –
When I believe I need to escape experience, I may be able to do so partially and for a while.
I may distract myself.
I may find tools and techniques that change my state and experience for a while.
But I cannot control experience. Experiences come and go. They live their own life.
–> And equally important, believing that I need to change my experience is uncomfortable in itself.
I get myself into escape mode. I keep trying to run from what’s here.
I tell myself certain experiences are wrong. I tell myself reality is wrong.
And that is inherently uncomfortable.
– o –
Can I be with this experience?
Is it OK? Is this experience OK?
What happens if I allow this experience as it is?
How would it be if I couldn’t escape? If there were no escape?
Is it possible to escape this experience? What happens if I don’t?
Can I be with this experience, including the resistance?
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