Inquiry: Something terrible will happen if I surrender

 

Something terrible will happen if I surrender.

Surrender here meaning Let Your Will be Done.

Being genuinely OK with whatever happens.

Seeing that “I” cannot make it happen.

(I cannot prevent suffering. I cannot quite taking stories as true.)

Notice there is only God’s will.

(What appears as “my will”, the shoulds and beliefs, is included in God’s will.)

True?

Something terrible will happen if I surrender.

Yes, I can find where it feels true.

There is a feeling of dread and terror there.

Sure it’s true?

No. It’s a thought.

A feeling that’s interpreted and taken as evidence.

What happens when I believe that thought?

I feel that something terrible will happen if I surrender.

I have images of something undefined terrible happening.

Dread and terror comes up.

The thought feels very true.

I resist surrendering.

I resist seeing that “I” cannot do it.

I cannot make beliefs go away.

I resist noticing all is God’s will already, and especially taking it in.

I resist letting it sink in, letting my emotions/thoughts/feelings reorganize to that recognition.

–> I feel like a victim since life invites me surrender, it gives me no other option, yet I cannot do it because something terrible will happen if I do.

What do I hope to get from that belief?

I hope to protect myself. Stay safe. Secure. Avoid misery.

What am I actually getting?

–> Misery. I am getting just what I try to avoid.

By holding onto shoulds, I create misery for myself.

What am I afraid would happen if I didn’t believe that thought?

I am afraid I would surrender, and something terrible would happen.

I am afraid I will be overwhelmed*

I am afraid I will be flattened.*

I am afraid I will not be able to function.*

I am afraid I will not take care of myself.*

Who would I be without it?

Free to surrender.

Sink into it. Let it happen.

See what happens.

Meet it with curiosity. Receptivity. Interest.

Welcome it as a friend.

Welcome surrender as a friend.

Welcome whatever happens as a friend.

Turnarounds.

Something terrible will not happen if I surrender.

That fits my experience.

When it has happened in the past, it’s been fine.

Something wonderful will happen if I surrender.

Yes. It opens up.

There is a release of resistance (identification with resistance) and suffering.

There is a release into reality, the veils created by being caught up in resistance lift.

Everything wonderful will happen if I surrender.

Yes. Reality can notice itself with fewer or no veils.

There is a flow from inner guidance/knowing.

Gratitude, appreciation, receptivity.

–> Something terrible will happen if I don’t surrender.

Yes, that’s certainly true.

If I hold onto shoulds and beliefs as if they are true, I create misery for myself.

I prevent myself from following my inner guidance/knowing.

I get distracted by unease, tension, shoulds, drama.

I get caught up in the story that something terrible is happening.

I become the story that something terrible is happening.

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