When I ask myself what do I hope to get out of taking this story as true? what’s the innocent wish behind it? I often find it’s a wish for safety.
A part of me take stories as true with the hope that it will keep me safe.
The result is of course the exact opposite. Taking stories as true creates tension, trauma, a sense of precariousness, a viewpoint to defend and so on. It even creates identification as something or someone that can be hurt and die.
It’s helpful to see and get a feel of this process. I get more attuned to the symptoms – some of which are mentioned above. I know it’s all innocent and it’s from a genuine wish for for keeping me safe and for my well being. I see and get a feel for how the consequences are often the reverse of this sincere wish. And there is another way.
One way to apply this is through dialog with the part of me that (a) wishes to keep me safe and (b) has the impulse to do so through taking stories as true.
When I contact this part of me, I (a) let it know how much I appreciate it’s service and intentions, (b) reminds it that we are partners and of it’s main function of helping me live the best possible life, and (c) invite it to revise its strategies.
It’s a beautiful process, and one that draws on The Work, the Big Mind process/voice dialog, and many other pointers.
This is of course a common approach in Voice Dialog and the Big Mind process: I contact the part, befriend it, explore it’s function, express genuine appreciation for its service, remind it – and me – that it’s main purpose is to help me live well, invite it to take a look at and revise it’s strategies while ensuring it that it still has a job to do, and so on.
And when I do The Work it’s very similar. I find the part of me that believes the story and answers from that part of me.
- a part of me wish for safety, protection etc. – take stories as true to find that safety – and yet get exactly what hoped to avoid – fear, stress, the appearance of someone who can die etc.