From witnessing to being

 

When fear and other difficult emotions and experiences surface, I find it’s painful – and futile – to try to escape it. And something shifts if I instead meet it.

The pointers go from witness and observing, to being space for and allowing, to meeting and being with, to welcome and say YES to it, to dive into and be it, to notice it’s already allowed, to notice it’s already what I am.

Any of those can be very helpful, perhaps at different times.

For me, I am now more attracted to diving into the middle and being it.

How does it feel to dive into the middle?

How does it feel to be it?

And another set of helpful questions:

Is it true it’s not already allowed?

Is it true it’s not what I already am?

In addition to writing down the fears and beliefs behind the emotions and take these to inquiry, it can also be helpful to find the intelligence behind it. What’s the positive intention? How does it support me? What function does it have? This is where voice dialog or the Big Mind process or similar approaches can be helpful. It helps befriending the experience, see it as a friend and ally rather than a problem or an enemy.

For me now, there is often a sense of dread in the belly/heart area. There is a brain fog or grogginess. There is a sense of personal will, as a hardness in the forehead/soft palate/throat area. How does it feel to dive into the middle of the dread and be it? How does it feel to dive into the middle of the grogginess and be it? How does it feel to dive into the middle of the sense of hardness (personal will) and be it?

And, when I bring back the image of a cannonball sinking into the belly and sprouting (active imagination), how does it feel to dive into the middle of it and be it?

There is also a sense of dissolving. How does it feel to dive into this sense of dissolving and be it? There is a sense of hyperactive mental energy. How does it feel to dive into this active mental energy and be it?

What’s the wisdom, intelligence and love behind dread? Dread is how this human organism protects itself, and especially against death. It’s love in the form of dread.

Source of the diving into middle + finding the intelligence behind it: From Pamela Wilson via Kiara.

Update: I experienced some nausea in my belly the day after writing this, and noticed that resting was OK but distracting myself made it worse. Diving into and being it, it changed into something I cannot easily define.

Note: This shift from witnessing to being is similar to the shift from realization/knowing to being it. During an initial awakening there may be a realization of all as God etc. – although it’s still happening to an “I” and there is a sense of unity between this I and all as God. This may then mature into being reality, being that which already allows any and all experiences and appears as these experiences. That’s what’s been happening in my case. First, a nondual awakening fading into unity, then a dark night, and then an invitation (makes it sound more voluntary than it is!) to recognize I already am what’s happening. I am any and all experience, I am awareness and the play of awareness as any and all experience, and I am that which allows it all – that which is allows awareness and it’s play of appearances.

Reality already allows it all – what this personality likes and doesn’t like, identifications or not with stories and as an I etc., and that’s what I already am. Whenever there is identification with any story, any viewpoint, there is a sense of an “I” here that’s smaller than and in opposition to reality, since reality moves outside of the small world of any thought. A thought asks if something is a certain way, and reality fits within that and also outside of it – reality fits the reversals of any story, and also cannot be touched by any story.

…………….
…………….
…………….

  • from observing to being
    • different approaches to allow fear, difficult experiences
      • observe, witness – transcendence
      • be space for, allow –
      • meet, be with
      • welcome, say YES to
      • dive into, be it – immanence
      • notice already is allowed, notice already am – notice what is | is it true it’s not already allowed? is it true it’s not what I am?

…………….

Here are some questions that can be helpful.

– o –

Can I observe it? Witness it?

How is it to witness it?

– o –

Can I be space for it? Can I allow it?

What happens when I am space for it? Allow it?

– o  –

Related posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.