I find it helpful to see (a) the grain of truth and (b) the healthy impulse behind a belief.
There is a grain of truth in the story, and it is often a relief to acknowledge this and find appreciation for it.
And there is an innocent and healthy impulse behind the story itself and also behind taking it as true.
The thought is an innocent question about the world and has practical value.
And I can find the healthy and innocent impulse behind believing it through asking myself what do I hope to get out of believing this story? What’s the innocent wish behind it? And then look at the consequences (question #3 in The Work) and alternative strategies (#4 and turnarounds). For me, I seem to find that the innocent wish behind a belief is for safety. I seek safety and take refuge in a story to find it. Of course, the consequences are often exactly what I hoped to avoid – tension, stress, opposition to life, a viewpoint and identity to defend, precariousness, and recognizing I don’t know tends to come with what I wish for.
These two tend to balance out the picture when I do The Work. They help find genuine appreciation for the belief. It has a grain of truth in it, and the impulse behind taking it as true is healthy and innocent.
- grain of truth and healthy impulse behind a belief
- grain of truth in the story – can be a relief to acknowledge, find appreciation for
- innocent and healthy impulse behind it – behind the story + taking it as true
- behind the story – it’s a question about the world, practical value
- taking it as true – see it as a refuge, a way to find safety