Over this last week, there has been a great deal of sadness and also a physical sensation of a rewiring of the heart.
The sadness has surfaced from memories of close and intimate relationships where I held back love, where I didn’t allow myself to feel and express how much I loved the other person, and from seeing how much pain it caused myself and the other. So there has been a great deal of pain, sadness, grief and regret surfacing, along with that sense of a rewiring of the heart, and a sweetness in it all.
I talked with Barry tonight, and he said something very similar has been happening for him. He also mentioned he has been drawn to the image of Christ and the Sacred Heart, and I felt the same when he mentioned it.
The Sacred Heart is sometimes depicted with thorns around it, which captures the experience well for me. It’s incredibly painful, and yet also sweet, and it opens the heart for love.
Whatever has been left out of love wishes to be included. It’s already included, and now it’s time to notice.
The Sacred Heart is a beautiful depiction of what happens for all of us when we include in love what’s previously been excluded. Life wants it all included in love – any thought, any feeling, any memory, any emotion, any sensation, any experience. It’s all love already.
Note: Everything is already love. This can be noticed or not, in regards to what’s here now. And then lived from or not.
Note 2: The regrets surfacing for me these days are almost all related to being frozen or in hibernation in relation to feeling and expressing love. It’s surfacing because life wants these areas to thaw and become available to me, and this may be part of a natural healing process from cf, it may well be part of the dark night process, and it may also be supported by the TRE process – shaking it loose physically.
- rewiring of the heart
- last week, a great deal of sadness + rewiring of the heart (experienced physically)
- many situations from life, intimate relationships, held back love – held back experiencing and expressing love
- a great deal of pain, sadness, grief, regret
- also very sweet
In one case, I was in a relationship we both very much wanted to continue, but it ended because I didn’t allow myself to feel and express how much I loved her and how much I wanted us to be together. In two other cases, later on, the same happened with very close friends where we both wanted something more, but it didn’t for the same reason.
It’s as if small ants are moving around in the heart.