What I resist is the gateway?

 

What I resist is the gateway.

What do I find when I use this as a question, a pointer for own exploration?

I resist an emotion, and when I allow and meet that emotion, I find relief, an open heart, a sense of coming home, flexibility in relating to situations. I find what I really seek.

I resist a thought, and it’s the same there. When I identify and inquire into that thought, I find resolution, creativity, kindness, a sense of coming home. I find what I really seek.

So what I resist is the gateway.

And really, something else seems more true:

The thought behind – creating – the resistance is the gateway.

Resistance comes from a thought, whatever the resistance is against – an emotion, pain, hunger, loss, a memory etc.

When I identify and inquire into that thought, I find resolution, kindness, creativity. What I really seek.

So the thought behind resistance is the gateway.

And that is a new question, a new pointer for exploration.

I also see another thoughts surface: I know. 

What happens when I take that thought as true? Who would I be if I couldn’t think that thought? What’s the genuine truth in it’s turnarounds? How is it to live from the most juicy of those turnarounds?

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draft…..

What I resist is the gateway.

Is that really true?

It may seem that way.

I resist an emotion, and the gateway into what I really seek – relief, an open heart, a sense of coming home, flexibility in relating to situations – is allowing and meeting that emotion.

I resist a thought, and it’s the same there. What I really seek is found when I identify and inquire into that thought.

And yet, what’s more true for me now is that the thought behind resistance is the gateway.

Resistance comes from a thought, whatever the resistance is against – an emotion, pain, hunger, loss, a memory etc.

When I identify and inquiry into that thought, I find what I really seek.

So the thought behind resistance is the gateway.

It’s not really helpful to write about it in such a general way.

It’s even a side track. It becomes another way to think I know something, a way of surfing over a more sincere and open inquiry.

So then that thought – the belief behind resistance is the gateway, and also I know – becomes stressful for me.

It’s good to notice.

There is no way out here. Any thought – when I attach to it as true – creates unease. I know – I feel – it’s not true. I feel how it creates a sense of separation.

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draft…..

What I resist is the gateway.

I resist an emotion.

I resist it because of a belief I have about it.

The emotion (fear, sadness, anger) is unpleasant. It’s a reminder of something unpleasant. It means…. something terrible has happened/will happen. It’s too much. It’s not what I want.

When I resist the emotion, it becomes an enemy, a problem. There is struggle and unease just in the resistance.

The gateway is then that emotion. When there is a shift into allowing it, there is relief, release, a sense of coming home. When I identify and inquire into the beliefs about the emotion (the beliefs creating the resistance), there is similarly a relief, release and sense of coming home.

I resist a situation because I have a belief about it. And the dynamics are similar.

So resistance comes from a thought taken as true, and that thought may itself be resisted.

When I take a thought as true, it is at once fascinating and uncomfortable. I am drawn to it, and also – often – resist it.

I want to avoid it, not be reminded about it. So I avoid whatever may remind me about it.

Again, this thought is the gateway. When I identify and question it, I find what I sought by taking it as true.

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draft….

What do I resist? 

Emotions, thoughts, pain.

Situations triggering those same emotions, thoughts and pain.

(And going a step further, I see I resist reality. I resist what is. I resist acknowledging what is already true for me.)

What do I seek when I resist?

I seek comfort, ease, happiness etc.

What do I get?

Unease. Struggle. Sense of precariousness.

What happens if I allow what is?

When I allow (meet, welcome) emotions, there is a sense of wholeness, fullness. Relief. A sense of coming home.

When I meet pain, I see it’s not really pain. It’s a sensation. It’s spacious. It’s OK.

When I meet thoughts, I find what’s more true for me. Here too, there is a sense of relief, coming home.

Gateway

I see that what I resist is really the gateway into what I seek.

It’s a gateway into recognizing the world as a friendly place.

What I resist shows me what’s left – what I still haven’t (a) befriended and (b) recognized as part of the whole & what I am.

What’s resisted is already what I am. It is all already love. So of course it is uncomfortable to resist it. It goes against my nature.And that discomfort is a pointer that something is off. It’s an invitation to explore what’s going on. See what happens when there is resistance vs. meeting, allowing, befriending whatever is here.

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