Inquiry is not about wishful thinking or affirmations. It’s about reality.
It’s obvious in a way, and yet a continuous discovery for me.
For instance, when I do The Work, all that’s needed is to look at reality. I find what’s real for me. I find simple, clear, real and specific examples.
No belief can hold it’s ground when faced with reality.
I worked on the belief “my parents didn’t make me feel completely loved”, and for the turnaround “my parents didn’t make me feel unloved” I found a long list of examples. (They gave me four meals a day. They gave me clothes. They listened to me. They helped me with home work. They were nice to my friends. They let me play as I wanted. They gave me chocolate on Saturday evenings. They celebrated my birthdays and did something special for Christmas and other holidays. They took me on vacation.) As the list of simple, real and specific examples grew longer, it was more and more difficult to hold onto the initial belief.
Of course, the belief may surface again, even with some energy behind it, but now I cannot completely take it as true. I can explore it again. And I can identify and inquiry into it’s underlying beliefs: “My parents didn’t make me feel completely loved”, and that means…. (make a list). What I fear the most about not having felt completely loved, is…. (list).