Big Mind (Big Mind/Heart/Belly), what happens when P. doesn’t experience love?
He closes himself off from love, from the experience of love. He tells himself something happened, that it means a certain thing, and that he must close off the experience of love. For instance, he tells himself she doesn’t love me, that means I don’t have love in my life. Or that she doesn’t love me, so I am not lovable. Or I need her love, and she is not in my life. In each case, he takes certain stories as true, and is unable to notice – receive, experience and soak in – the love that’s already here.
Is that similar for other things he seeks?
Yes, it’s the same for trust, gratitude, compassion and a few other basic things.
Do you have any advice for him?
Just to keep noticing. Notice how you close yourself off from love, trust, gratitude and compassion. You are the one doing it.
You can ask yourself…. Is it true love is not here? Trust? Compassion?
You can identify and inquire into the thoughts behind closing off love.
It’s really simple. The only reason it seems difficult is that your culture has told you otherwise. Keep noticing, and it will become second nature to you. First nature, actually, since this is who and what you are. You are love, only taking certain stories as true prevents that from being obvious to you. You already know this. You notice it each time you shift into Big Mind/Heart. You notice it each time you inquire into a thought you take as true, and find what’s on the other side.
I’ll tell you one secret: When you *try* to believe this, it doesn’t work. You already know. All that’s needed is to look at your own experience. Trying to believe it is trying to trick yourself, and that’s not going to work. You know when you try to trick yourself too. By trying to trick yourself, you start distrusting what’s already true for you.
Just notice that too. What happens when you try to believe? What happens if you instead look at experience? At simple, honest, clear examples?
- closing off love, gratitude, compassion, contentment
- it’s always there
- and sometimes tell myself i should close it off since…. (insert any belief here)
Through inquiry, I get to see that I am the one closing off love.
I believe she doesn’t love me, so I close off my own (experience of) love.
I believe something is wrong, so I close off my experience of love and trust.
It’s all innocent.
Through inquiry, I get to see that I am the one closing off love, trust, gratitude, compassion and more.
I tell myself something happened, and it means…. She doesn’t love me/I am not lovable, so I close off my own experience of love. The world is not trustworthy, so I close off trust. Life is unfair, so I close of gratitude. He did something wrong, so I close off compassion.
It’s all innocent.