“That which this anguished soul feels most deeply,” says St. John of the Cross, “is the conviction that God has abandoned it, of which it has no doubt; that He has cast it away into darkness as an abominable thing . . . the shadow of death and the pains and torments of hell are most acutely felt, and this comes from the sense of being abandoned by God, being chastised and cast out by His wrath and heavy displeasure. All this and even more the soul feels now, for a terrible apprehension has come upon it that thus it will be with it for ever.
– Evelyn Underhill, from the Dark Night chapter in Mysticism.
During the darkest times of the dark night, it seems it will be this way forever. And that’s no mistake since the part of us that seeks a way out has to go.
When there is apparently no way out, there is an invitation here. An invitation to identify and investigate the beliefs behind seeking a way out. An invitation for identifications with that impulse to wear off. An invitation for non-seeking mind to notice itself.
Is it true it’s not OK as it is? Is it true it needs to change?