Some immediate outcomes of inquiry

 

When I do inquiry, I notice a few different immediate outcomes.

A story may reveal itself as not true apart from as an appearance.

I may see there is validity in the story, and yet other stories – it’s reversals – have validity as well.

I may find that the turnaround to myself is more true and juicy for me than any of the other stories.

And most often, all of these seem to happen.

I had a story that A. bullied me when I was a kid.

Through inquiry, I found that something else was more true than that he bullied me. He was most likely insecure, afraid and perhaps even felt inferior (in class), and it came out the way it did – and in a way that I interpreted as bullying. It’s genuinely more true for me that he was afraid and believed his stories.

I also found that he was a friend to me, and could find several specific examples of where he was a genuine friend to me. For instance, he invited me home and gave me ice cream (his father worked for an ice cream company). He also invited me to birthday parties.

And I found that I bullied me. I believed the story that he bullied me, and several underlying stories (I deserve to be bullied, I am not likable), and through believing those stories, I have bullied myself.

So the initial story may have some validity in a conventional sense. I can see that it’s possible to use the story he bullied me to describe what happened. And yet, it’s equally or more true that he was insecure and believed his stories, he was a friend to me, and that I bullied myself. What’s most real and juicy for me is that I bullied myself through believing some of my own stories.

Going from holding one initial story as true, I find validity in a richer and more nuanced set of stories. I find a sense of wholeness, clarity and of coming home.

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