Dream: Conversation after death

 

I am a man in my 50s or 60s in a small town in the mountains near the west coast of Norway. My younger brother, another man I don’t know very well, and I are having a cup of coffee, something to eat and a good conversation. I tell the new man about the village and the nature around here, about some fishing trips and other things. As I am about to leave, I find myself still sitting there. I remember I am dead (I drowned the summer before in a mountain lake while out in my rowboat). I also notice that my brother is about to laugh since I intended to leave but still find myself sitting there, and that the new man may scare himself as he realizes I am dead. A little while passes. I am not sure what to do, so I say “boo”.

I am a different person in this dream, an older man with a good heart and have had a good life in this village and in this nature. Somehow, I can still appear with my old form among people, at least for a while. And in this case, I appeared in my old form to have a good conversation with the visitor. I intend to leave before he notices I am dead (a ghost), but somehow it doesn’t work. I realize he will discover it soon, and that he is about to scare himself when he does. My brother, who recognizes the dilemma, is about to think it’s quite comical. It seems I have access to how they feel, and also what they are about to feel. My brother is quite used to me being around after I drowned and he is just enjoying the situation. I have a very good relationship with him, as I did with the other villagers when I was alive. It’s a quite sweet dream, and quite funny when I decide to say “boo” (as a ghost in a cartoon). I also realize I hoped to not have our new friend scare himself because of me. I don’t experience myself as dead or a ghost, although I realize that’s the label others may put on me, at least until they get more familiar with the situation.

This dream is similar to a few others ones where I either appear in my usual form after death, or where I am someone else than who I am during waking hours. My experience of myself in these dreams where I am dead is of space where thoughts, feelings and a form appear. It’s all without any solidity. It’s all happening within and as space, and not even that. And that’s how I experience myself – this human self – in waking life as well. What comes up first about this dream, is that I am a bit self-conscious about how I experience myself and the world. I notice I have some beliefs about what others may think if I was honest about it with them. They will see me as weird. I will speak a taboo. It will create an awkward situation. They will talk about me behind my back. They will leave. I will be alone. I will be lost. 

Note: In general, thoughts, feelings and form appears within and as space, although there is a part that’s slightly denser in and around the head, where the images of me and I are located. There seems to be some identification there, some taking it as a subject. Some beliefs around this: There is an identity. There is identification. Identification is bad/wrong. It’s better if there is no identifications/beliefs. There is a me/an I. 

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