I am in South America and am accused of smuggling drugs. The authorities (of Inka descent) know I am innocent, and yet are determined to have me convicted and executed. During a brief escape, I meet my Norwegian family and friends who don’t understand how serious it is. They assume I will be acquitted if I am innocent.
This is a recurrent fear for me: being innocently accused and convicted.
Day residue: (i) On my list of “the worst that can happen is….” yesterday, in the telecourse, I wrote “being innocently accused, 0convicted and imprisoned”. (ii) I read about Polanski’s new film project on the Dreyfus affair and noticed I got a bit worked up thinking about that affair. (iii) I saw a news story about two young Norwegian women in prison in South America for drug smuggling (they say they were tricked into it). (iv) I had a conversation about the Treholt case with a friend, in a quite different context (I have always thought it most likely that he’s innocent). (v) And I read Prisoners of the Sun a couple of days ago (where Tintin and his friends are captured and about to be executed by a group of current day Inkas).
Earlier situations: I was innocently accused at least three times as a child. (a) My mother was angry at me and accused me of having done something I hadn’t. She chose to believe my older brother and one of his friends (who had told her I had done something they had) instead of me. (b) I was brought to the principals office in elementary school, accused of having done something I hadn’t even heard about. Again, someone had told him I was responsible. He did believe me after a conversation. (c) The same happened in middle school, although the principal didn’t believe me. (I had no idea what I was supposed to have done.)
Beliefs from the dream:
Something terrible has happened/will happen.
There is no way out.
Its not fair. Life is not fair. I need life to be fair.
Life is out to get me/trick me.
Life can take a sudden turn for the worse.
I am not in control. I need to be in control. It’s better if I am in control.
Others have authority over me.
I don’t understand them. (The ones accusing me even if they know I am innocent.)
It matters what people think about me.
They should set me free. They should treat me with respect. I want them to release me. I need peace.
I will die. I shouldn’t die. I will die too young. I will miss out of life.
Beliefs from first childhood situation:
She should believe me.
She should trust me.
Beliefs from school situations:
I am unfairly treated.
I am innocently accused.
He doesn’t believe me.
I am a victim of the situation.
And some underlying beliefs:
I am innocently accused, and that means…. Life is not fair. I can’t trust life. People will judge me/mistrust me. Family and friends won’t believe me.
I am innocently accused because…. Life is out to get me. Something terrible can happen at any time.