How I want a specific person to treat me

 

Make a list of how you want a specific person to treat you. Get specific. Start treating that person this way. Do this exercise for at least two different people. Notice any thought that would prevent you from living the turnarounds (“They won’t understand.” “They don’t treat me that way.” “They’ll think…”).

– 0 –

How I want Jan to treat me

(Elementary school.)

I want Jan to be a good friend to me.

I want Jan to be on my side.

I want Jan to treat me with respect, appreciation and kindness.

I want Jan to defend me if others are unkind to me.

Turnarounds

I want me to be a good friend to Jan.

I want me to be on Jan’s side.

I want me to treat Jan with respect, appreciation and kindness.

I want me to defend Jan if others are unkind to him.

Thoughts that would prevent me from living these turnarounds

He is not in my life anymore.

TA: He is in my life now.

Yes, he is here in my mind. I can treat him with kindness, respect and be on his side in my mind.

Other people in my life may take his role, and I could treat them with kindness, respect and be on their side.

I am doing the exercise wrong since it’s on a past situation.

TA: I am doing the exercise right since it’s on a past situation.

It’s equally or more true that it’s in the present.

My thoughts about him are here & now.

– 0-

How I want the neighbors to treat me

I want them to be quiet.

To close the doors carefully.

To turn down the volume.

To not smoke out the window.

To not argue loudly.

Turnarounds

I want me to be quiet.

(Especially in how I treat them in my mind.)

To close the doors carefully.

To turn down the volume.

(On my thoughts about them.)

To not smoke out the window.

(To not smoke with anger, frustration.)

To not argue loudly.

(About them in my mind.)

Thoughts that would prevent me from living these turnarounds

I don’t meet them often in person.

I am doing all the work.

– o –

Possible situations

Bullies at school treating me with respect, as friends.

My mother being comfortable with herself, so benefits me.

BH staying in my life.

Neighbors being quiet.

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