Think of someone in your life who is not giving you what you want. Make a list of what you want from this person. Get specific. Then give those things to yourself. Report your experiences on the Telecourse Forum.
Situation: Image of being alone in a crib in a dark room + feeling of abandonment, being alone, rejected, nobody loves/cares about me. (This surfaced after some months of doing TRE, Tension/Trauma Release Exercises, and may be related to that, or not.)
What I want (as a baby alone in a crib in a dark room): Care, tenderness, body contact, comfort, trust, security.
How I give it to myself:
Care: Drank plenty of water (with lemon juice). Took my herbs. Ate oatmeal porridge, apples, roasted vegetables (avoid/less of dairy, sugar, wheat). Did Self-Breema, Five Tibetans this morning + shaking (TRE). Closed the window when someone used a leaf blower outside.
Tenderness: Self-Breema, shaking, ho’oponopono.
Body contact: Self-Breema, shaking, walk, noticing my body (with myself). Breema bodywork (with another).
Comfort: Self-Breema, shaking, walk. Did ho’oponopono for my parents and myself as a baby. Remembered to comfort myself (self-love) when noticed self-judgment around not being further along (still having fears/beliefs/wounds surface).
Trust: Shaking (more comfortable in the body, release tension/trauma). Take fearful beliefs to inquiry.
Security: Take stressful thoughts to inquiry.
Thoughts that stop me from living it: It’s too challenging. The demand is too high. I don’t have time. I forget/get distracted. I don’t deserve it. I need it from someone else. It’s not as good when I give it to myself. If I have to give it to myself, it means I am a failure. I can’t ask someone else for what I want/to give it to me.
I notice that doing ho’o for myself as a baby and for my parents at the time seems most powerful now, perhaps because I haven’t done it before. And in general, I notice a draw to stay with my own care, tenderness, love for myself, soak in it, let it soak in (especially through ho’o). Can I find forgiveness for myself (for creating wounds/beliefs around it) and for my parents (for following what their culture told them, instead of what I imagine is more natural)?
Additional beliefs: My parents shouldn’t have left me alone. My parents didn’t question what they were told. My parents were caught in their own fears and wounds.
(2) Quietness from neighbors, people in public spaces (bus, train, tram).
Respect, consideration, quietness, mindfulness, asking if it’s OK, low voice/music.
How I give it to myself:
Asking if it’s OK:
Thoughts that stop me from living it: