Someone not giving me what I want

 

Think of someone in your life who is not giving you what you want. Make a list of what you want from this person. Get specific. Then give those things to yourself. Report your experiences on the Telecourse Forum.

Situation: Image of being alone in a crib in a dark room + feeling of abandonment, being alone, rejected, nobody loves/cares about me. (This surfaced after some months of doing TRE, Tension/Trauma Release Exercises, and may be related to that, or not.)

What I want (as a baby alone in a crib in a dark room): Care, tenderness, body contact, comfort, trust, security.

How I give it to myself:

Care: Drank plenty of water (with lemon juice). Took my herbs. Ate oatmeal porridge, apples, roasted vegetables (avoid/less of dairy, sugar, wheat). Did Self-Breema, Five Tibetans this morning + shaking (TRE). Closed the window when someone used a leaf blower outside.

Tenderness: Self-Breema, shaking, ho’oponopono.

Body contact: Self-Breema, shaking, walk, noticing my body (with myself). Breema bodywork (with another).

Comfort: Self-Breema, shaking, walk. Did ho’oponopono for my parents and myself as a baby. Remembered to comfort myself (self-love) when noticed self-judgment around not being further along (still having fears/beliefs/wounds surface).

Trust: Shaking (more comfortable in the body, release tension/trauma). Take fearful beliefs to inquiry.

Security: Take stressful thoughts to inquiry.

Thoughts that stop me from living it: It’s too challenging. The demand is too high. I don’t have time. I forget/get distracted. I don’t deserve it. I need it from someone else. It’s not as good when I give it to myself. If I have to give it to myself, it means I am a failure. I can’t ask someone else for what I want/to give it to me.

I notice that doing ho’o for myself as a baby and for my parents at the time seems most powerful now, perhaps because I haven’t done it before. And in general, I notice a draw to stay with my own care, tenderness, love for myself, soak in it, let it soak in (especially through ho’o). Can I find forgiveness for myself (for creating wounds/beliefs around it) and for my parents (for following what their culture told them, instead of what I imagine is more natural)?

Additional beliefs: My parents shouldn’t have left me alone. My parents didn’t question what they were told. My parents were caught in their own fears and wounds.

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Second one:

(2) Quietness from neighbors, people in public spaces (bus, train, tram).

 Respect, consideration, quietness, mindfulness, asking if it’s OK, low voice/music.

How I give it to myself:

Respect:

Consideration:

Quietness:

Mindfulness:

Asking if it’s OK:

Low voice/music:

Thoughts that stop me from living it:

 

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