A sense of hurt

 

I keep noticing how there is a sense of hurt behind any sadness, frustration, anger and reactivity that comes up. It seems that it’s all pointing back to that sense of hurt, and that it comes from very early childhood. I bring it into ho’oponopono. Stay with it as a friend. Open my heart to it. (Whenever I remember, and am not caught up in resistance to it.) I also ask for guidance, and to be shown what I need to see about it. Where does it come from? What are the beliefs and fears behind it?

It seems very young and primal. The images and thoughts I notice revolve around injustice and unfairness, and a sense of powerlessness. I notice it gets triggered when situations don’t go “my” way (the way I think it should go, what I think would be good for me), when I see injustice and unfairness in the world (what I tell myself is unjust and unfair), and when I feel powerless and unable to change or “fix” a situation (I tell myself needs to be fixed, and needs to be fixed by me). There are also some images of being very young and feeling that my parents or life is unfair towards me, and feeling powerless. I also see I don’t feel as supported by my parents as I think they should.

Note: There is a sense that this wants to emerge more fully before I start “picking it apart” in inquiry. Ho’o feels better now. As does asking for it to reveal itself more. And staying with it as a friend, with an open heart. As well as asking it what it wants or needs. (Right now, for me to stay with it as a friend, open my heart to it, asking it to show itself more fully. To shift into meeting it with an open heart.)

Essence: Injustice, unfairness, misunderstood, powerless.

Situations: (a) Feeling I couldn’t talk with my mother/father about what was most important to me. (b) Innocently accused by my mother, principals. (c) TRE sessions with a conventional psychologist in Norway, feeling that it wasn’t a good match. (d) Politics in the US.

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