Inquiry: I am a nuisance

 

I am a nuisance. 

Situation: I was the official wedding photographer this weekend, and sometimes noticed this thought as I wandered around taking pictures of the bride, groom and guests.

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Is it true?

Yes.

Can you be certain it’s true?

No.

What happens, how do you react, when you have that belief?

Tension. Discomfort.

I try to appear at ease, while I experience tension and discomfort.

There is a conflict between wanting to do my job and take good photos, and wanting to not be a nuisance.

I get to see another belief: I want *all* of them to like me.

I feel and act shy. I hold back in my interactions with others. I am self-conscious.

My breath is not as free as before.

My calf muscles and shoulders tense up.

I try to stay as invisible as possible.

Who would you be without that thought?

Free to take photos when I think they will be good and of interest to the bride, groom and others.

Free to be social and engaged in conversation and exchanges with others.

I may take fewer photos, because I am free to go for the really good ones.

Turnarounds

I am blessing. 

I am assigned this task so others don’t need to.

I generally take photos people enjoy.

One guest commented on how gentle and pleasant I was in taking photos.

Another guest commented on how much joy it would give people to later look at these photos.

I am not a nuisance.

Nobody said I was.

Nobody gave a look or used body language that I could interpret that way (even with the mindset created from the initial belief).

When I mentioned the initial thought to a friend, she laughed and said it was clearly not true in her experience.

My thinking is a nuisance.

When the initial thought is believed, it becomes a nuisance.

I can only find “nuisance” in my thinking. It’s not there in the situation.

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