Some folks talk about the ego putting up a fight, especially as it’s about to be seen through more thoroughly.
I understand it can be seen that way. And yet, something else seems more true to me, at least right now.
The “ego” may lose it’s footing in a few different ways: (a) An opening or early awakening may make it clear it’s all Spirit, and no thought is really true. It can only have temporary value as a question, a practical pointer or guide. (b) The “veils” may thin – for instance through practices such as meditation, prayer or inquiry, and only a bit is left. (c) Through some form of inquiry, such as The Work, many of the surface and even core beliefs may have been seen through, and only some are left – often held at an emotional level. For me, it’s been some of each of these.
And as this happens, whatever beliefs are left tend to surface and may do so quite strongly. In my experience, many of these may take the form of wounds and beliefs held at an emotional level, formed early in childhood.
So it may seem as if the ego is fighting for it’s life. And in a sense, that’s true.
What’s more true for me about this are two things:
There is no ego, at least not as an entity or something fixed. What may be called ego is simply the dynamics created when a thought is taken as true (the answer to question 3 in The Work), and perhaps also the tendency to take a thought as true in itself. I tend to avoid using the word for that reason.
And it’s not really fighting for it’s life. It’s more that there is a more open mind here, so the remaining wounds and beliefs surface to find liberation. They seek to be seen, felt, loved and seen through. And this more open mind is fertile ground for them to find what they seek – their liberation from being held as true.
So there is not really anything fighting for it’s life, apart from what I imagine myself to be. And there is no fight, apart from the resistance the remaining beliefs are met with, and this resistance comes from some of these remaining beliefs.
So to summarize:
There is an ego: (a) As the dynamics created when a thought is taken as true. (b) As the belief that taking thoughts as true is a way to find safety.
There is no ego: There is no ego as an entity or something fixed.
There is a fight: As the resistance what surfaces – often primal and core wounds and beliefs – is met with, and this resistance comes from some beliefs: It’s too much. It means something terrible happened/will happen. I am not up to the task. I don’t know how to deal with it. Opening to it is worse than resisting it.
There is no fight: Only remaining thoughts surfacing to find liberation from being taken as true, and among these are the resistant thoughts to this process.