BKI expect me to find more.
Situation: 141 follow-up exercise.
Have the thought I am not doing it right.
I have fears:
I am avoiding looking.
I recoil from looking at what’s here.
My mind is too scattered to find what’s here, to do the exercise well.
Pressure on my chest, difficult breathing.
Feel pinned down.
I see them as big, and myself as small.
I see them as judging me, evaluating me.
Content with what comes up.
Content with it being simple.
Trusting that what wants to be seen will come up, at some point.
I expect me to find more.
I am the one having that thought, I need to find more.
I want to be a good student.
I want to be clear, notice what’s here.
They don’t expect me to find more.
They want me to be honest, real.
They may expect a wide range.
I am finding things.
I am doing it for myself, for my own sake.
They expect me to find less.
They don’t want me to force anything.
I find less and less that I know, to hang on to.
Some probably find less.
I expect them to find more.
I expect them to scrutinize me more than they may actually be doing.
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