Inquiry: She needs me to be a good facilitator

 

She needs me to be a good facilitator.

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Is it true?

No.

What happens, how do you react, when you believe that thought?

I monitor myself.

I have an image of what it means to be a good facilitator, and try to live up to that image.

There is tension, stress, unease.

I think I didn’t end the session well.

I feel embarrassed about it.

I think she will judge me for it.

Who would you be without that thought?

Free to follow my own process.

Trusting that asking the questions is enough.

Trusting the simple directions.

Trusting The Work.

Enjoying it.

Enjoying our connection.

Turnarounds

I need me to be a good facilitator.

I am the one who has the thought I need to be a good facilitator.

It feels good for me when I follow the simple directions.

It feels good for me when I hold the space for the client to do The Work.

I need her to be a good facilitator.

I still have beliefs that I need a good facilitator.

I still have beliefs about good and bad facilitation.

When my facilitator follows the simple directions, it makes it easier for me to focus on the questions.

She doesn’t need me to be a good facilitator.

She knows The Work well, she can do it on her own.

** If I am not a “good facilitator” in my own mind, it’s all happening in my own mind and it’s my work. **

** If I am not a “good facilitator” in her mind, it’s all happening in her mind and it’s her work. **

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Note

The main insight for me here is the last two examples:

If I have the thought I am not a good facilitator, it’s my work.

If she has the thought that I am not a good facilitator, it’s her work.

It’s very simple, and when I take it in I notice a good shift, a relief, and a sense of coming home.

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