Inquiry: She shouldn’t solidify my stories

 

She shouldn’t solidify my stories.

Situation: This is from my individual sessions last summer with the main TRE trainer in Oslo, who is also a psychotherapist. I used the sessions to hunt for beliefs I could take to inquiry later, and she seemed to take them very seriously, solidify them, elaborate on them, and even use them for diagnosis.

Is it true?

Yes.

Can you be certain it’s true?

No.

What happens, how do you react, when you have that belief?

I see her as naive. Unhelpful. Caught up in beliefs about what makes a “good” psychotherapist.

I imagine she believes she needs to take my stories seriously, solidify them, to be a good therapist.

I feel confined. Not free to explore fluidly whatever beliefs or thoughts I notice here.

I think she is provincial.

I feel agitated. Trapped. Ambushed.

It fuels my thoughts of Norwegians as provincial and unfamiliar with what’s common on the US west coast (inquiry, transpersonal and integral approaches to therapy, familiarity with kundalini processes etc.)

I feel alone. Unseen. Unmet. Isolated.

I feel hurt. How can she believe those stories? How can she take them seriously? How can she think I take these stories seriously? How naive does she think I am?

I tell myself she shouldn’t be a therapist if she has those beliefs, and is unfamiliar with the basics such as inquiry, transpersonal/integral approaches, kundalini processes and so on.

There is tension in my belly, chest, shoulders, calves. My breath is held back. My body feels a bit stiff and numb.

My attention goes to this afterwards, repeatedly. I tell others about it. I make her wrong in my mind, and in conversations with others. I see her as wrong, provincial, unprofessional.

Who would you be without it?

I see her as a woman in a chair.

I see that she has the best of intentions.

I adjust what I say so the interaction feels more helpful, interesting.

I have a friendly attitude towards her.

I see us as equals, two humans talking.

I am free to leave or stay.

Free to channel the conversation into something I find useful or interesting.

Free to do another session with her, or switch to someone else.

Turnarounds

She should solidify my stories.

If she does, it’s her job to do it.

She believes her own stories, which makes it happen.

It helps me see my reaction to it, what I still believe about it.

She may have been trained to do so, during her education.

I shouldn’t solidify my stories.

(Especially about her.)

It’s uncomfortable.

It makes the sessions less helpful for me.

Our connection is less nurturing.

It’s not what I deeper down want.

I shouldn’t solidify her stories.

It’s her stories, her business.

It’s painful.

It’s not what I deeper down want.

What I want is to find clarity around these stories, so they are free from being believed, so I can find my own guidance.

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