Inquiry: I went against God’s guidance

 

I went against God’s guidance.

Situation: After moving to Wisconsin.

– 0 –

Is it true?

Yes.

Can you be certain it’s true?

No.

What happens, how do you react, when you have that belief?

Ashamed. Guilty.

Think: My connection with God is ruined. It cannot be repaired.

Image: After falling out with my parents as a child (anger), a feeling our connection wouldn’t heal completely.

I think it’s better to not be seen. Feel numb.

Who would you be without that thought?

How I treat me: Gentler with myself, more kind. Wouldn’t beat myself up.

How I treat God: In a friendly way, see God as a friend. Our connection is still there.

Turnarounds

I went against my own guidance.

I woke up in the mornings with a very strong/intense knowing I need to get out of Wisconsin, back to SLC or Oslo.

There was nothing for me there in terms of friends, spiritual center etc.

The energy of the landscape didn’t feel right.

I became depressed after moving there.

I didn’t go against God’s guidance.

I was aware of God’s guidance. I felt it.

If all is God, God’s will, then everything is guided by God. It’s impossible to go against God’s guidance.

I went back to SLC several times, for weeks at a time.

Eventually I moved from Wisconsin.

I followed God’s guidance.

I noticed and felt God’s guidance.

I went back to SLC for some time.

I eventually left Wisconsin for Oregon.

Whatever in me made me not go back (to SLC) was God too, guided by God.

Something in me said I would learn something important from it.

God went against my guidance.

I wanted God to make it easier for me to leave, return to SLC and/or Oslo.

I wanted God to not put me in such a situation.

(Conflicted between inner guidance and resisting fears/beliefs.)

God’s plan was different than mine.

– 0 –

Living turnaround

God went against my guidance.

** God’s plan was different from mine. **

– 0 –

Additional statements

I was too caught up in fears/beliefs to follow God’s guidance.

I can’t trust God’s plan. I can’t trust God’s plan for me.

I know what God’s plan is. I can know what God’s plan is.

My connection with God can’t be repaired. Something is broken in my connection with God.

If I show remorse, God will make it easier for me.

– 0 –

I want to stay as small as possible. I want to not be seen by God. It’s safer to stay small.

God will hold it against me. God won’t forgive me.

I can’t/don’t want to face this.

God has disconnected from me. God is annoyed with me.

– 0 –

 Additional statements II

I went against my guidance because:….
I couldn’t follow my guidance because:……
If I follow my guidance, this means that:……

– 0 –

Notes from my facilitator 🙂

(Have put things that came for me in parentheses)
 It can’t be repaired
As a child when I angered or upset my parents I didn’t trust things would be OK afterwards. Something lingered.
I cannot make this OK again
Something is broken in my connection with God
I want to stay as small as possible (to not be seen by God)
(God holds it against me)
(God will not forgive me)
It’s safer to stay small
I feel numb – in legs especially. Feel weakness/ giving up
Addictions – internet, films, podcasts, food, staying up at night (distract/entertain myself)
(I can’t/ don’t want to face this)
There’s no point in moving forward
Life is meaningless without that connection with God
(God has disconnected from me)
(Connection with God is lost)
(God is annoyed with me)
I’m hoping God will see I’m remorseful and change his mind/   make things better/easier for me
Without the thought I treat myself more gently and kindly
Without the thought I treat God more kindly – God is a friend. The connection is still there
[It was hard for me to leave Wisconsin because:……
If I left Wisconsin, it means that:….]
There was nothing for me in Wisconsin (esp in terms of friends)
[I went against my guidance because:….
I couldn’t follow my guidance because:……
If I follow my guidance, this means that:……]
TA:
I didn’t go against God’s guidance
I listened to and felt it after moving to Wisconsin
I returned to SLC on occasions
I eventually left Wisconsin
Everything is guided by God
I went with God’s guidance
Something in me said I would learn something important from it
God went against my guidance
I wanted God to not put me in such a situation
I wanted God to make it easy for me to leave
God’s plan is/was different to my plan
(Trust in God’s plan?)

Related posts

One thought to “Inquiry: I went against God’s guidance”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.