JYN: My father turns the newspaper pages with inner tension

 

Situation: My father turning the newspaper pages with tension (inner struggle). I am a little boy.

1. I am frustrated with my father because he turns the newspaper pages harshly and loudly.

2. I want my father to live with ease, to resolve his inner tension, to be kind and clear, to be whole and in integrity.

3. He should say what he feels and wants to us (his family), he should not compromise on his needs.

4. I need him to take care of himself, be clear and mature, tell my mother what he feels and wants.

5. He is tense, in inner struggle, unable to express what he feels and wants, explosive.

6. I don’t ever want my father to turn the pages harshly and loudly again, to live with inner struggle without resolving it, to explode.

From a 141 session w. Danielle van A. over Skype:

My father turns the newspaper harshly and loudly. 

I experience it as a knife through my stomach. I feel weak, hopeless, angry, sad. He doesn’t know what to do about it. By leaving abruptly, I hope to communicate something to him, make him look at what he is doing. I see him as helpless. I leave. I don’t want to deal with it. I try to forget about it, not be reminded about it.

TA: I turn the newspaper harshly and loudly. In my mind, the newspaper becomes huge and is turned harshly and loudly all the time. When I am tense, I sometimes take out the tension in similar ways (walk more heavily).

TA: The newspaper turns him  – the content of the newspaper (sadness, stress).

Why the best for me? It helps me  find peace with it when I am others experience tension.

He is unable to express what he feels and wants.  

#3 – It’s always going to be that way. He will continue to be unhappy. He won’t be able to get what he wants. I am loosing a sense of direction in my own life, lose my bearings.

#4 – Feel more connected, more in charge of my own life, free to do what I enjoy doing. I treat him with kindness, connected.

TA: I am unable to express what I feel and want. I leave, don’t say anything. I have never told him I care about him, am grateful. To myself: I left and didn’t want to think about it. I avoided telling myself what I felt and wanted.

TA: He is able to express. He does it through body language, how he turns the newspaper. I think he did it verbally with my mother when he thought I was not around.

 

 

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draft….

1. I am frustrated at my father because he turns the newspaper pages loudly, he is unable to clearly and kindly express what he feels and wants. (What’s the feeling in that situation?)

2. I want my father to express his concerns clearly, to resolve his inner tension, I want him to be kind and clear, I want him to be whole and in integrity (What do you want him to say, do or be?)

3. He should communicate clearly, be in integrity with my mother, say what he feels and wants, not compromise on his needs. (Do you have any advice? He should or shouldn’t? How can he do that? What would it look like?)

4. I need him to take care of himself, be clear and mature, tell my mother what he feels and wants, find a good solution with my mother.

5. He is tense, in inner struggle, unable to express what he feels and wants, explosive.

6. I don’t ever want to experience my father unable to clearly and kindly express what he feels and wants.

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3 thoughts to “JYN: My father turns the newspaper pages with inner tension”

  1. Thank you 🙂 I just inquired into two of these beliefs and turned around the worksheet to myself, and it was very powerful. I wonder if not these thoughts are related to my sound sensitivity. I hear people making (loud) sounds, think it’s because of their inner tension, and I am – in my mind and usually not consciously – brought back to this situation and these beliefs.

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