Shame as a guardian

 

For some losses during the “dark night” phase, I notice shame is a guardian of the treasure.

I have beliefs about what happened, these create shame, and this shame sometimes prevents me from more wholeheartedly (a) open to the experience, and (b) identify and inquire into the beliefs around it. It’s also why I have only written about it in very general ways here, and avoided talking about it with most (not all) people in my life.

Some of these beliefs:

I abandoned my path. I abandoned what I was passionate about. I abandoned something that could have benefited myself and others.

I didn’t follow my inner guidance. I was too stuck in fear and beliefs.

I should have known better. I should have been able to make a better decision. I made the wrong decision.

I lost status. I lost respect. People will judge me.

Note: What’s the treasure these guardians guard? It’s something to explore here and now, not really to write about. (And I can also say that for (a) opening to the experience, there is a sense of coming home, aligning with reality which already allows the experience, and for (b) inquiring into the beliefs, it’s also a sense of coming home, and finding the freedom that’s here when the thought is not taken as true anymore – a freedom to do and live what’s more kind.)

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