How I benefit from what others share

 

Whatever stories are here – about experiences, insights, pointers etc. – are really questions.

And when I share – or have an impulse to share – these, I sometimes notice hesitation.

Here are some of the fears and beliefs behind this hesitation:

 I am not qualified to share this. Others can do it better. What I say/write may put someone on a wrong track. It’s not an absolute truth, so there is no point sharing it. It’s better to be quiet. I am responsible for how it’s received. (What if what I write here is wrong, puts someone on the wrong track? I know everything here is provisional, stepping stones, so why write about it at all?) 

When these beliefs come up, I can take each one to inquiry and see what I find. And I also sometimes remind myself of how I benefit from what others say or write.

Here are some of the ways I benefit from what others share:

(a) I sometimes feel connected, it’s a relief to see that others are on a similar path.

(b) I may get pointers that are valuable to me.

(c) I sometimes explore the topic by fleshing it out for myself, use different perspectives, take it a step further, etc.

(d) I sometimes go to the TAs of what’s been said and find examples of how these are as or more true.

(e) I sometimes imagine beliefs behind what’s said or written, find a situation where I had those thoughts, and do inquiry.

These and some related inquiries brings me back to myself and reminds me that what I share is for my own benefit. And since I do it for myself, I wish it to be as clear and sincere as possible.

Note: Here is the seed of this post – a comment I posted on a fb group for The Work. The question had to do with hesitation/doubts around publishing a book, and thoughts that I am not ready etc.

Hi G. – something that has helped me is to remind myself of how I benefit from what others share (say, write) and that others may benefit in a similar way from what I share.

Here are some of the ways I benefit: (a) I sometimes feel connected, it’s a relief to see that others are on a similar path. (b) I may get pointers that are valuable to me. (c) I sometimes explore the topic by fleshing it out for myself, use different perspectives, take it a step further, etc. (d) I sometimes go to the TAs of what’s been said and find examples of how these are as or more true. (e) I sometimes imagine beliefs behind what’s said or written, find a situation where I had those thoughts, and do inquiry.

This reminds me that what I share doesn’t have to be “perfect” or the “final word” on the topic.

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drafts….

In this blog, I share some of my experiences and explorations, and it’s all really questions.

I also see it’s all for my own sake. Even when if I tell myself I share it because someone may get something out of it, it’s for my own sake.

Sometimes, there are also beliefs here, and the hesitation and doubts these beliefs create points back to these beliefs:

 I am not qualified to write about this. Others can do it better. What I write may put someone on a wrong track. It’s not an absolute truth, so there is no point writing it. It’s better to be quiet. (What if what I write here is wrong, puts someone on the wrong track? I know everything here is provisional, stepping stones, so why write about it at all?) 

When these come up, one inquiry is quite helpful, and that is to remind myself how I benefit from what hear or read.

When I hear or read something, I see that it’s an invitation for me to….

(a) Use whatever pointers are there as guides for my own exploration. If I am drawn to it, I may give it a go – as an experiment – and see what I find.

(b) Explore the topic for myself, perhaps in a different way than how it’s initially presented.

(c) Fill in what’s missing. I may flesh it out, explore it from different perspectives, take it one or two steps further.

(d) Find turnarounds and examples of how each turnaround may be as or more true as the initial statement.

(e) Identify beliefs I imagine is behind what’s said or written, find a situation in my own life where I had that thought, and take it to inquiry.

In each case, I actively engage in what I hear or read, and that’s how it is with what I write here as well. It’s an invitation for whomever reads it to actively engage with it, if that’s where they are drawn.

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This reminds me that what I share doesn’t have to live up to any particular (imagined) standards. It doesn’t have to be “perfect” or the “final word” on the topic, which is good because it isn’t.

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This and some related inquiries brings me back to myself and reminds me that what I share is for my own benefit. It doesn’t have to live up to any imagined standards. It doesn’t have to be “perfect” or the “final word” on the topic, partly because it cannot be. And since I do it for myself, I wish it to be as clear and sincere as possible.

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I also see it’s all for my own sake. It’s a reminder, an inquiry, and sometimes – if I am honest – an escape and comfort. Even when if I tell myself I share it because someone may get something out of it, it’s for my own sake.

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I write this blog for myself, as a reminder, exploration, and perhaps sometimes – if I am honest – an escape, a comfort.

And if only one thing here is helpful to one person, it’s worth sharing, so that’s why I have made it public. I do that too for myself, because it feels good.

Sometimes, there are also beliefs pointed to by the hesitation and doubt they create: I am not qualified to write about this. Others can do it better. What if what I write here is wrong, puts someone on the wrong track? I know everything here is provisional, stepping stones, so why write about it at all? It’s better to be quiet. 

That’s when I remind myself of the ways I benefit from what others say or write, and that whomever reads this may benefit in a similar way.

What’s here is an invitation to….

(a) Use the pointers for own exploration. If you are drawn to it, you may give it a go and see what you find.

(b) Explore the topics for yourself, perhaps in a different way. I may write about a certain topic, and it may be an inspiration for you to explore it in a way that feels more right or comfortable to you. You have a different life, experience, insights and knowledge than I have, so you will bring that to what you read.

(c) Fill in for yourself what’s missing in what I write. Flesh it out. Explore different perspectives, perhaps ones that are more true for you.

(d) Look at the turnarounds of what I write, and examples of how each turnaround may be as or more true.

(e) Identify beliefs in what I write. See if you can find a situation in your own life where you had the same belief, and inquire into it.

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As I have mentioned before, I write this blog for myself and not so much with (another) audience in mind.

Yet, some of it may also be helpful for others, so I have decided to share it by making it public.

For some, there may be a sense of connection and recognition, perhaps a relief to find someone on a similar path.

And as with anything said or written, what’s here is an invitation.

It’s an invitation to (a) use pointers here for own exploration, if it resonates and feels right. (b) Explore these topics for yourself, in a different way, in your own life. (c) Fill in what’s missing in what I write, flesh it out, explore different perspectives, perhaps ones that feels more true for you. (d) Look at the turnarounds of what’s said, and find examples of how the turnarounds may be as or more true. (e) Identify beliefs behind what I write, see if you can find it in your own life, and inquire into these.

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This blog

written for myself, not so much with an audience in mind (another, wider audience)
and yet, may be helpful for others, so share it here

this blog, as anything said or written
an invitation for (a) use pointers for own exploration, if it feels right (b) explore the topics for oneself, in your own life, in a different way, (c) see what’s missing in what I write, flesh it out more, fill in missing areas,explore different perspectives, perhaps ones that feels more true for you, (d) look at the turnarounds (of what’s said), find validity in the turnarounds, (e) identify beliefs (in the text, what I write), see if you can find them in your own life, inquiry into these
– also, connection, recognition, someone on a similar path, sense of fellowship
it’s some of what i do when i hear or read something, so assume readers of this blog can benefit from it in similar ways
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– doing it for myself: even if I write to share, offer something to others, I do it for myself

I write this blog for myself and not so much with (another) audience in mind.

And yet, if just one thing here can be helpful to one person, it’s worth sharing it, and that’s why I have made it public.

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