Vacuum

 

I woke up this morning with an experience of an all-encompassing void or vacuum. And although was already here and impossible to avoid, I still tried to avoid the vacuum. I got up and distracted myself. The vacuum brought up several fears:

About the vacuum: I want it to go away. It shouldn’t be here.

About me in relation to it: (a) It’s easier to avoid it. It’s more comfortable to avoid it. (b) I should be further along. I should be able to fully feel it, go into it. It’s better to open to it. Others are further along.

About what it means: It means something is wrong. I won’t function. I will be passive. I won’t be able to take care of myself.

What it reminds me of: I used to have passion, energy. It’s better to have passion/energy.

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