Last night, I felt and stayed with what’s here, gave it all over to God, and also checked in around health, the future etc. (visualizing, getting a sense of where it’s moving). What was clear was a sense of brilliance and a strong presence of Christ, of no feedback whatsoever about the future or health, and also of everything dissolving (mind, body, life). The image of a larvae dissolving in a chrysalis came up. And I also saw some fear and thoughts about it.
Here are some of my fearful thoughts, ready for inquiry:
I don’t know what is happening. I need to know what’s happening.
I won’t be able to function. My health won’t improve. I need my health to improve.
I won’t be able to allow it, welcome it, go into it. The process will stagnate because I am not able to welcome it.
My life will continue to fall apart, dissolve, because I am not able to welcome it. I am stopping the process.
I am not allowing the process to resolve itself, come to fruition. I am too caught up in fear. I am stopping myself by holding onto beliefs.
I am not sincere enough. My intention is not clear enough. I am not committed enough. I am too wounded.
I am not clear enough. I don’t get it. I don’t get that resistance is more painful than allowing it. I am too caught up in confusion.