Mini-inquiry: He doesn’t care about me

 

Leaf blower man doesn’t care about me. 

(An underlying thought that triggered stress earlier today.)

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TA: I don’t care about him.

I see “my peace” as more important than his job, than the task he is performing.

I don’t care about why he does it, if it’s important to him.

I make him small in my mind, I make him into a little monster in my mind.

I dehumanize him in my mind.

TA: I don’t care about me. 

I sometimes don’t do what it takes to find peace.

I create stress for myself by going into my images and thoughts about him.

TA: He does care about me.

If he knew it bothered me, he may have found another solution.

He may continue, and still care about me.

He may tell himself he doesn’t care, and still do.

(I notice that for myself, and he may not be much different.)

TA: He doesn’t care about me! 

He has a job to do, and doesn’t even know I am here.

It’s an invitation for me to clear it up for me here, without being dependent on him doing it differently.

It’s an invitation for me to find peace with people not caring (in my mind) about me.

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Note

This is one of those thoughts where a thought says it’s silly, don’t bother taking it seriously, don’t bother inquire into it.

And yet, it’s the image that’s there for me, underlying other thoughts such as he is insensitive, he is oblivious.

It’s one of the basic painful beliefs for me in this situation.

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