There is a sense that life wants me to investigate life in many different ways, and – of course – the turnaround is more true. I want that for myself.
Fear and discomfort still comes up, especially noticeable while in bed before falling asleep or after waking up.
I tried a set of questions the other day that earlier had been very helpful:
What if this experience will never change? What if it will always be here? Can I be OK with it? Can I find peace with it?
And this time, nothing happened. There was no shift, no change in how I related to it.
Instead, the question that’s more alive for me now came up:
It’s fear. TA: It’s peace.
Can I find it? Can I genuinely find how it – what I labeled fear – is peace? Can I find how there is also peace here?
It’s discomfort. TA: It’s comfort.
Can I find it? Can I find how what I labeled discomfort is discomfort?
And this is very much alive. Something happens. There is a sense of looking behind the veil of the initial label, the initial assumption, and finding something quite different.
What’s common for both of these inquiries is that they invite me to find what’s real for me, what’s honest for me, what’s genuinely here for me when I look.
What’s different between them is that one was very helpful a while back, and doesn’t seem to do much right now, and the other one is very much alive for me.