Aloneness

 

I listened to Adyashanti talk about aloneness in a Radio Adyashanti episode from December. As he said, aloneness happens on a spectrum.

At one end, it’s aloneness as what we are, as that which has no I or other, as that which is beyond and embraces all polarities including that of I and other.

At the other end, as who we are, as this human self, there is also aloneness.

During an awakening process, there may be very human aloneness of not knowing anyone who understands. That was the case with me for a while. The only people I felt would understand where a few I found in books – the first one was Meister Eckhart. Later on, and especially over the last few years, I have met many I feel understands, and either are or have been going through a very similar process.

Another layer of this sense of aloneness is an aloneness that comes from very early wounds and hurts, an aloneness that comes from beliefs that may sit at a deep and sometimes primal emotional level.

More generally, any belief – any image or thought held as true at any level – seems to come with a sense of isolation, separation and aloneness.

And that’s what it comes down to: images and thoughts either held as true at some level, or seen and felt for what they are. If there is a sense of aloneness, and some uneasiness around it, what images are behind it? What fears are there? What do these fears say? What do I find when I take a closer look at these images and thoughts? What’s more true for me? What does my innate sanity say about it? How is it to meet these beliefs and fears with tender love, with this knowing?

So there is aloneness as what I am, as that which has no other, and this may be peaceful or stressful (pointing to a story taken as true). There may be a very human aloneness of not feeling met or understood by others. And there may be wounds and hurts surfacing, initially created earlier in life and sometimes very early in life, and recreated now from holding images and thoughts as true at some level.

In either case, what’s really there? What’s here in illusion? What’s here in reality? How is it to meet the illusion with tender love, curiosity, and the sanity that’s here?

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