Opening to what’s here II

 

A few things about opening to what’s here:

If it appears to not already happen, it’s because certain images and thoughts are held as true.

One set of images is about what will happen if I do: Something terrible will happen. I will be reminded of something terrible (in past, future, present).

Another set of images tells me it’s possible to not open to what’s here, to avoid it, to run away from it, to distract myself from it.

And yet another set of images tells me that’s happening. I am able to run from it, close it down, close me down from experiencing it.

By intentionally opening to what’s here, I notice it’s already happening. This awareness, this (apparent) space, is already open to what’s here.

It’s not really possible to not open to what’s here. At most, attention can go somewhere else. It may go away from emotions or images that (a thought tells me) are uncomfortable, or dangerous, and better avoided. And then thought label it resistance, or running, or distraction.

By noticing the opening to what’s here, it’s allowed it’s life. Emotions are allowed their life. Images are allowed their life. And it’s seen more clearly as it is. Emotions are seen as emotions. Images as images. Resistance as a label. Running as a label. Distraction as a label. All happening within and as the opening that’s already here.

And then emotions and images, identification and non-identification, even space and time, may be recognized as images, as a label. And there is a quiet curiosity. What’s really here, without the label?

As with so much else, this can be discovered “globally” or “locally”. It can be seen as if from the outside of what’s here – the emotion, image, thought, sensation –  even if all is recognized as the same. And it can be recognized from within what’s here, by that part itself. For me, this is a quite interesting exploration now. Again, a thought may say that one feels more transcendent (head center, yang), and the other more embodied and immanent (belly center, yin), and that doesn’t really matter.

Sometimes, it may be difficult to find the quietness and stability of attention to open to what’s here, stay with it, notice if it’s already happening even if a thought would say it’s not, and so on. And here, I find it can be very helpful to have someone sit with me, even if it’s just for a few minutes, and if that person has some experience with this for him- or herself, then even better.

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