When I push anything away, I push myself away

 

This is something I first noticed a long time ago.

When I push anything away – an experience, a person – I push myself away.

And it happens in several different ways.

What I push away is my image of what’s pushed away, and that image is part of me, it’s what I am. My psyche is battling itself.

When I push away something in the “wider world”, I push away the same in myself. It’s inevitable.

When I push away something in the “inner world”, I push away something that’s part of me.

And it’s all my psyche battling itself, my mind battling itself, awakeness in its form of appearances battling itself.

It’s uncomfortable. It’s impossible to push anything away. It’s hopeless. It’s a dead end.

And the parts of my psyche I push away feel rejected, isolated, afraid, so I feel the same.

The way out is to go in the other direction.

You are welcome here.

Sorry for having pushed you away.

I love you.

And as always, I am free to take care of myself, to live from loving intelligence to the extent it’s available to me.

Opening to what’s here, finding welcome for it, finding love for it, and noticing that these are already here, opens for living more fully from loving intelligence.

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