Satsang with longing

 

Longing comes up now and then, and an image suggests it has to do with (what another thought calls) the incarnation trauma. The shock of going from what was before incarnation (infinite love, wisdom, sense of being home, luminosity) to physical incarnation (somehow being connected with this body, functioning in an often puzzling world). At one level, I knew it was right and I agreed to it. And at another level, a set of beliefs formed saying I lost something wonderful, it’s unfair, I am a victim of circumstances. And at the emotional level, there is a longing, and I also resisted, didn’t want it, felt like a victim, threw a tantrum. And these are all here now. I also see how the belief/wound of I lost what was most important to me has repeated itself in my life, especially around relationships. There is almost an expectation that it will keep happen.

So I hold satsang with longing. And also with the other layers here: The victim, and the tantrum. And the one saying I lost what was most important to me. The one saying I will continue to lose what’s most important to me (people, places, situations).

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