Transformation of the personal will

 

A return to this topic:

It seems the dark night of the soul phase is also a transformation of the personal will. If it’s transformed, what is it transformed from and to?

The initial version of the personal will, the “normal” adult one, is based on preferences mixed in with beliefs and identifications. This one is not always very aligned with (a) what is, life as it shows up, or (b) the inner guidance, the quiet inner voice, the voice of the heart. There is often a struggle between the personal will and what is. And the personal will is often quite noisy compared with the inner guidance and may also – at least at times – intentionally override it. This form of personal will may stay more or less intact during the initial phases of the awakening.

During the dark night of the soul, the personal will is thoroughly humbled. For me, life went against it in many ways at once. The personal will became weak and feeble, and sometimes nearly unfindable. And the personal will was shown to not be “mine” but something life supported for a while in its previous form and not any longer.

What’s it transformed to? I can just say something preliminary about this.

A closer alignment with reality, life as it is.

A closer alignment with the inner guidance.

A willingness to give it all – anything human, any confusion, any situation – to the divine.

Trust in the love and wisdom of life.

Recognition that the personal will, as it shows up, is God’s will. (Without using that to abdicate responsibility.)

Realization of the nature of illusion and reality regarding the personal will. The nature of illusion: the dynamics of preferences, beliefs and the label “personal will” creating the appearance of a personal will. And the nature of reality: this too is presence, awakeness, and can be labeled divine.

Each of these are more thoroughly embodied.

And the first four may be revealed and embodied further as the beliefs and fears bringing us in another direction are identified and inquired into.

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