Transformation of the personal will. That seems to be one facet of what I am going through now.
What does it mean? What is it about? What’s the next phase for me here?
Here are some things that come to me:
(a) It’s a closer and more whole hearted alignment with my inner guidance, with the quiet little voice, with the voice of the heart. A large part of this includes noticing identifications – appearing as beliefs and fears – around following this guidance, inquire into these, and find what’s more true for me.
(b) It involves finding love for what is, as it is. Finding love for God’s will, even when it’s different from my own preferences as a human being. Here too, an important aspect is noticing and inquiring into identifications, beliefs and fears.
And it involves other forms of inquiry:
(c) Explore and notice that what a thought may label my will and God’s will both happen within and as awakeness, presence, love.
(d) Inquire into thoughts (fears, complaints) about my will and God’s will, and the labels my will and God’s will.
(e) Explore and notice that what a thought may label my will or personal will is also – as anything else, including identifications etc. – God’s will.
(f) Explore and notice the dynamics of the personal will. How what appears as personal will that’s opposed to God’s will is all created from identifications, from mind holding images and thoughts as true.
(g) Explore and notice the innocence in it all. How a personal will opposed to God’s will comes from a wish to protect this me, comes from deep devotion and love. How it wishes to be met with respect, love and understanding. How it wishes for a deep sense of trust and love. How it is awakeness itself, as anything else.
(h) Holding satsang with my personal will, befriend it. See it’s innocence. It’s love. It’s real nature.
As so much else, it’s an exploration of the nature of illusion – the dynamics of taking images and thoughts as true, and the nature of reality – the real nature of all of this.
Note: I wrote this without much of a plan, so it’s a bit rambling. I could probably easily organize it into three or four categories. (a) Alignment with inner guidance, the voice of the heart. (b) Finding (noticing) love for what is. (c) Inquiry into beliefs and fears around this, including what comes up when I consider following my inner guidance or finding love for what is.
Transformation of the personal will
– aligned w guidance
– loving what is
– recognized as awakeness, god’s will (what thought may label gods will, my will, both awakeness, god’s will)
– recognize the nature of reality and illusion in what a thought may label my will, god’s will, apparently separate or distinct, then also both aw + god’s will)
– inq. Into labels, thoughts around it – its my will, its not gods will, i cant have what i want, i cant trust reality