Struggling mind is struggling with itself.
Identified mind struggles with itself, and that’s how it stays identified. It keeps the center of gravity in the middle of identifications.
It may work for a while. All sorts of practices may seem to give the intended results, at least sometimes.
Eventually, this strategy doesn’t work anymore, simply because it comes from identification and perpetuates identification.
So what to do? All that can be done is giving it all over to the divine. Giving it all over to love, to presence.
And here, it may be even more clear that it’s all out of control.
There is no control the way a thought may tell itself there is for comfort.
I may engage in a practice and there may be the appearance of control. A thought may say that “I” engage in meditation and this brings about a certain desired state. And yet, it’s all possible only because it’s supported by life. The intention to engage in meditation, the possibility to do so, the mind that meditates, it’s all possible only because it’s supported by life. And it is all life.
– exhausted, trying to get/do everything right, and is eventually exhausted, defeated
– is not in control, cannot take credit for anything, what’s here is not personal/life
– any insight, confusion, identification, motivation, choice is life itself, it’s not personal
– out of my control
– when look at anything, not in “my” control