Here is a shift I find difficult to put into words, perhaps because it’s not very clear to me yet.
In my late teens and twenties, Spirit recognized itself as all without exception. Yet the center of gravity was in the clarity, the light etc.. And that was also the center of gravity when looking at whatever pain or confusion surfaced. There was a slight identification as light, clarity and love, and although the rest was recognized as Spirit too, it was slightly “other” as well.
Then, in my thirties, there was a shift. Spirit still recognized itself as all, yet the center of gravity – the point of view – was more from within the confusion, identification and darkness. There was, and is, a finding of healing from within and as the confusion and pain. Spirit couldn’t anymore identify more as light, clarity and love. This shift helped point out the previous slight, almost invisible (to me!) identification and preference.
This also seems like a shift from head and heart center, to heart and belly center. A shift from a slight identification with/as the head center and it’s clarity and light, to becoming more familiar with and as the belly center, with its luminous darkness and womb-like quality.
It makes sense. Spirit is all of it – light and dark, clarity and confusion, nonidentification and identification. So even a slight identification with one or the other, with – in this case – the thought or image of being more light and clarity than darkness and confusion, is out of alignment with reality, and reality will move to correct it and bring the conscious and felt view more into alignment with reality.
And all of this is images and labels. It’s all Spirit and a thought saying a particular appearance of Spirit is light and clarity, or darkness and confusion, or nonidentified or identified mind, or a slight identification.
– 20s, spirit recognized itself as all, yet center of gravity in clarity, light etc. (looking at/healing from that safe pov)
– 30s, shift, spirit recognized itself as all, and center of gravity more in the darkness, confusion, trauma, pain (looking at clarity from there)
– finding healing from within the confusion/pain, as the confusion/pain