Meeting dullness

 

Sometimes, a belief creates obvious emotions such as anger, fear, sadness or joy, and there is an apparent intensification of experience.

Other times, it may go the other direction. A belief may create a sense of dullness, stagnation or numbness, and there is an apparent reduction of experience.

In either case, the sensations are something I can meet with curiosity.

I can stay with the sensations and breathe, and notice any shifts or changes, any images or thoughts behind the sensations.

I can meet it in satsang: You are welcome here. Thank you for protecting me. Thank you for your love for me. How would you like me to be with you? What would satisfy you forever? What are you really?

I can do a simple inquiry. What’s here in sensations? What’s here as a label? What’s here as an image, a thought (about what it is, what is means etc.) What happens when these come together, and are taken as true? What happens when I stay with the sensations alone? How is it to question the labels and thoughts? Is it really pain, fear, anger, dullness? Does it really mean something terrible has happened?

Sometimes, I invite my relationship to it to shift through ho’oponopono: I am sorry. Please forgive me. I love you.

For me, it’s easier to remember to meet a sensation intentionally when it’s an intensified sensation or experience such as anger, sadness, or pain. And it’s easier to “forget”, at least for a while, if it’s a reduction in experience, such as a sense of dullness, stagnation or numbness.

Meeting it is an invitation to see what’s really here. Is it really what it appears to be? Does it mean what my thoughts says it means? Is it true it’s not already allowed?

And it’s an invitation to explore how it is to shift how it’s met. What happens when mind tries to run away from it, or get rid of it, or put a lid on it? What are the fears/beliefs behind this impulse? How is it to meet it more intentionally, with curiosity and respect?

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