Shut down

 

After I got the chronic fatigue (aka temporary fatigue, chronic vitality), I have had periods of shut down. The way it shows up now is (a) missing breakfast, (b) a small trigger, and (c) a sense of mental and physical shut down. The remedy is usually food (proteins), plenty of water, and time. It’s partly physical, and there is also a set of beliefs activated.

Here are some of the beliefs:

(a) About the current situation, if I am with others: It’s my fault. They will see me as weak. They won’t like me. They will reject me. I should have taken care of this a long time ago.

(c) About the shut down: I am a victim of this pattern. I am a victim of my body. I am a victim of these beliefs.

(b) And from early childhood: It’s hopeless. I can’t do it. Life is too difficult. It’s easier to shut down. It’s easier to be frozen. It’s safe to be frozen.

Related beliefs:

It’s too good to last. It’s too good for me. It’s too good for my life.

If something good comes into my life, it won’t last.

I am not good enough for her. She will think I am not good enough for her. She will figure out that I am not good enough for her.

I don’t deserve abundance.

A woman will give me what I didn’t get from my mother. I need a woman to give me what I didn’t get from my mother. (Love, trust, comfort, being valued, natural confidence.)

I need to be sick (feel unwell, be a victim) to do what I want, give myself permission to do what I want.

My father didn’t express clearly what he wanted, thought, felt. My mother didn’t allow my father to express what he wanted, thought, felt.

I am isolated. I am a victim of life.

Nothing I do will help. Inquiry (TRE etc.) won’t work.

My life will be a failure. I will live in regret. My life will spiral down. I will be abandoned by God and humans. I am doomed for eternity. I will live a useless life.

A childhood situation: Meltdown in London at 6 years old. If I have a tantrum, I’ll get what I want. (Rest, going back to the hotel.) If I have a tantrum, I can give myself permission to do what I want.

And some ways of relating to and exploring this:

Ho’oponopono on myself in these situations, on myself as a young child, on the hurt parts of me, on my parents.

Doing The Work on these statements.

Shifting into Big Heart and meeting (holding) these parts of me. Meeting these parts of me through the Big Mind process in general.

Holding satsang with these parts of me.

Connect with the soul space in the heart area, and the flame there, and bring anything from identified mind to the infinite wisdom and love there.

Finding the area of my body that feels the densest, stay with the sensations, breathe, follow where the densest area is, notice any images or stories behind it, and take these to inquiry.

Related posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *