Satsang with the unlovable

 

There is a part of me – and probably for (almost?) everyone – that feels unlovable. It’s formed by and made up of the thought I am unlovable, when this thought taken as true. Most of us have experienced situations in childhood where this thought came up, and was taken as true. And unless it has been actively explored and met with genuine and deep love, it may still be here as a(n apparently) wounded part.

So I can hold satsang with it.

You are welcome here. I notice it’s already allowed. It’s already allowed by existence, life, mind.

Thank you for protecting me. Is the intention behind it to protect me? What is it protecting me against? What do I fear would happen if it wasn’t there? Is it really protecting me? What’s this me it is protecting? (I see its intention is to protect me from being hurt. From trusting, hoping, expecting, and having my hopes crushed. The me it’s protecting is an image of a me. I also see another belief here saying that being a victim will make people care and love me.)

Thank you for your love for me. I see it’s from love, and is love. And that makes it easier for me to find love for it. Genuine, deep love.

What would satisfy you forever? What’s your deepest longing? I notice that these questions evokes what it longs for, and it’s what a thought would label love and safety.

What are you really? (What a thought may label love, awakeness?)

I also see that when mind identifies with this part, there is a sense that “I am unlovable” and I experience, interpret and live my life as if it’s true, and I try to get love from others. There is also a struggle with this part, a push (trying to push it away, ignore it, make it go away) and a pull (holding onto it, trying to get its needs met from the wider world).

When the unlovable part is met in satsang, it’s recognized as a part, as universal, and I explore how it is to give to this part what it really wants – love, a sense of trust and safety, understanding.

……………
……………
……………

– unlovable – satsang
– get to see it’s already allowed, it’s here to protect me, its’ from love, it is love

 

Unlovable – satsang
Will figure out I am unlovable, something wrong w me
If still stay, must be something wrong w them

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