In the end, all that is not who you are will die, because it is not real anyhow. You can assist this process by not feeding the negative thoughts and ego, but even if you do, sooner or later it will all run out of steam. It actually takes a lot more energy to keep it all going, though we are unware of it. One day you will burn through despondency, etc.
Yes, you have been dismantled down to the child level and are now slowly being put back together. It is taking a long time because it is an organic process like growing a plant. Only that which does not serve gets dimantled, ie that which you cling to as desirable as part of the self image that isn’t real. I’m sure it goes back through many lifetimes because the pattern is so strong. However long it takes.
What do you really know about what you life should look like etc? What do you know about the future? What is left but the emptiness of the mystery. All that is painful is the images that we cling to. Everyone does it, so you are not doing it wrong. As you let go of these pictures, images and identities you will find the peace you seek. Love, b
– Barry, in an email to me