For some of us, a great deal in our lives falls away during a dark night, including health, relationships, jobs and more.
Why is it so?
There are several ways to answer this, and each may have some validity.
When things falls away in my life, it brings me face to face with my identifications. It invites these to wear off, and/or be seen through.
The outer falling apart mirrors an inner deconstruction.
Whatever is not yet healed may surface, and acting on this – or reacting to it – can cause things in our lives to fall apart. (When I act on, or react to, wounds, trauma, or very young parts of myself, it sometimes has consequences in my life. It sometimes even wreak havoc….!)
Some aspects of my life may fit my old life more than my new, and falls away for that reason. Whether I appear to chose it or not.
Each of these seem true for me, and more is probably going on as well.
As John of the Cross says, the term dark night refers partly to its obscurity. The real changes in a dark night is hidden from me, as is maybe always true.
Note: Another reason why things fall apart in a dark night of the soul, which may apply to me and some others, has to do with leaving our guidance. I left my guidance on a relatively major and lasting life decision some years ago, and that started the dark night of the soul. It’s only recently that I was able to redo that decision, and I am still wobbling a bit in terms of finding and following my guidance again. (It used to be very clear and up front.)
Note II: When I write about the dark night on this blog, I typically refer to the dark night of the soul as described by St. John of the Cross and also Evelyn Underhill in her book Mysticism. I am not so much referring to how the term is often used in our contemporary culture, although much may apply to that too.