Inquiry: Self-consciousness

 

Adya sometimes mentions something I notice in myself: a sense of consciousness turning back and looking at itself.

And that sense of something that’s self-consciousness is, I assume, also made up of words, images and sensations.

It’s something I can study, and see how it’s made up.

Look at the word “self-conscious”. Is that word self-conscious? (No.) Is it self-consciousness? (No.) Is it consciousness turned back on itself? (No. But I see an image, dark, with light making a movement back on itself.)

Look at that image. Is that image self-conscious? (No.) Is it self-consciousness? (No.) Is it consciousness turned back on itself? (Yes, there is a response in my throat.)

Feel that response in your throat. Take your time. Do you see an image? (Yes, of the throat.)

Look at that image of your throat. Is that image self-conscious? (No.) Is it self-consciousness? (No.) Is it consciousness turned back on itself? (No.) Is it you, the one who is self-conscious? (No.)

Look at the word “self-conscious” again. Is it consciousness turned back on itself? (No.)  Is it you, the one who is self-conscious? (No, but I see an image of me looking at it.)

Look at that image. See if you can remove it from the body and see it out in front of you. (Yes.) Is that image self-conscious? (Yes, it feels like it.)

Feel that feeling. Where is it? (Around the eyes, the face.) Take your time. Is that feeling self-conscious? (No.) Is it self-consciousness? (No.) Is it you, the one who is self-conscious? (No.)

Look at the image again of you looking at the word. Is it you, the one who is self-conscious? (No.)

Where do you find self-consciousness? (There is a sensation between my eyes, and an image of that part of the body.)

Look at that image.

And so on, looking at images and words, and feeling the sensations that come up.

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