I see a whole set of hopes, fears, deficiency stories and more connected to relationships, and especially intimate relationships.
Here are some of them:
A dream of a future. A sense of how it feels when I am with a soul mate. (A deep soul and heart connection, deep sense of rightness and alignment.)
A woman/relationship that will save me. (Complete me, enliven me.) A woman/relationship that will destroy me. (Of being stuck in a relationship that doesn’t feel right.)
A fear of missing out. An identity of being unlovable, unloved, only half filled-up with love.
Feeling frozen on the threshold of something more than friendship. Fear. (Concern about how I am seen.)
Missed relationships. Lost relationships.
There is also a recurrent childhood dream of falling through blackness into a cauldron stirred by a witch, looking up at me and grinning. (Representing knotted emotions in women, and myself?)
I can explore these through Living Inquiry, for instance can I find the future or this particular dream of the future? Does it exist outside of images, words and sensations? Can I find a real threat there somewhere? Can I find a command to live that dream, or “see through” the dream? How is the soul-mate feeling created? What’s there in images, words and sensations? (And so on.)
– dream of a future
– a woman (she) will save me / destroy me
– witch, recurrent childhood dream (female emotional turmoil, knots, hangups)
– fear of missing out, fear of being unlovable, unloved
– popularity, rel w someone popular, charismatic, one of the cool kids, accepted by the cool kids
I see that most of my dreams of a particular and wonderful future have lost their charge, although one still has some charge, and that’s the dream of a future with a wonderful partner. (A deep soul and heart connection, alignment at all levels, joy etc.)